Total Security

Pilot

One Wedding and a Funeral

Dental Men Prefer Blondes

Looking for Mr. Goombah

Citizen Canine

Who's Poppa?

Look Who's Stalking

Famous actor Gerry Conlon and his new wife Mehmee get their wedding night at the Seven Palms Hotel ruined thanks to pushy photographer Dean Driscoll. Conlon hires Frank to keep Driscoll away. With Ellie's assistance, Frank sets a trap: Ellie poses as a hooker who'll let Driscoll take photos of her and Conlon having sex and doing drugs. Driscoll is fooled and buys the drugs for Ellie. Neville investigates an insurance fraud; Wanda Robitaille is to collect $6 million from her late husband's life insurance but her husband is alive and well and is to split half the money with her. Neville offers Wanda to kill her husband for $1 million so she can have the remaining $5 millions to herself. The greedy ""widow"" agrees. Rita Vanderput engages Frank and Jody to find her fiancé, musician Sean Mitchell, whom she has sent lots of money. But it turns out Sean is not engaged to her; Rita has been conned by internet cheat Chris Minor. As Driscoll goes to take the pictures, he finds Ellie dead after ta

Das Bootie

Geneva has trouble with her German bodybuilder friend Helmut, who makes her life hell. Steve confronts Helmut, who doesn't get initimidated at all. Frank is approached by the wealthy Henry O'Brien, whose three-year-old granddaughter has been kidnapped. As Frank and Ellie talk with Henry's daughter Jessica and her husband Troy Larson, the little girl's parents, it becomes clear that there are large conflicts within the family and Frank assumes one of them is responsible. Neville is assigned to install surveillance cameras at a brothel owned by Katherine Guilford but he discovers that there are already placed cameras. The FBI, who have placed the cameras, tell Wendell he'll be investigated for tax fraud since he was paid by Katherine (to install the cameras). Helmut attacks Geneva in her flat but Steve comes to her rescue and, incredibly, gets the better of the huge pile of muscles. He then spends the night on the couch for Geneva's protection. Robbie's father pleads for forgiveness but

Evasion of the Body Snatchers

Influential multimillionairess Pamela Chapin engages Frank as her bodyguard for a dinner party after he saves her and her maid from a desperate intruder. Pamela seems to be attracted to Frank and the next day her lawyer, Walter Exley, makes an extremely generous bid for Total Security. Pamela explains Frank can still be the boss and keep his staff but despite being in need of cash, Frank rejects the offer as he doesn't want to be under anyones control. Shortly after Luis arrives, saddened to inform Frank that Seven Palms hotel has quit its contract with Total Security due to some foolish reason. Someone has been stealing the urns of famous film stars from Sheltering Pine cemetery. Steve and Ellie are assigned to the case and after going through film history, they discover that all the performers whose ashes have been stolen appeared in the 1954 adventure film ""Thunderbolt, Son of the Prairie"". In the middle of all this cemetery business, Ellie confronts Steve with having a fear of dyin

Wet Side Story

The Never Bending Story

Total Security is assigned a delicate case by the police: Detective Art McClaren has sued for payment of damages after he was seriously hurt while on duty. He is in pain, partly paralyzed and unable to function sexually. In fact, McClaren was once Frank's partner once but Frank suspected him of corruption, but McClaren caused a lot of mess by trying to pin the blame on Frank. Steve is appalled, and with Robbie's help, he sets out to prove that McClaren is faking. Turns out to be difficult, though, as McClaren is very sly. Seji Inegawa, a Japanese security man, asks Frank's help to locate Kimiko Suhara, the runaway daughter of his powerful Japanese friend. Thanks to some credit card calculations, Ellie manages to track down Kimiko. But Ellie is surprised when Kimiko tells her that the man searching for her is not her father; it's her ex-lover, a Japanse mobster, who wants to kill her because she has a list with the names of Japanese politicians connected to the mob. However, before Elli

Do the Right Schwing

Steve is working as a bodyguard for the rich, elderly Paul Rondere but he has started an affair with Paul's young wife, Olivia. Worse yet: Steve has fallen in love - for the first time in his life. Steve wants to quit his job and Olivia informs her husband she's leaving him. Holly Morganstern is convinced that her psychiatrist husband is being unfaithful and engages Total Security to confirms her suspicions. Ellie goes to see Dr. Morganstern - masquerading as a depressive patient - and plants a bug. However, Ellie finds Morganstern to be a committed doctor. Paul contacts Steve and admits he wanted Olivia to find a lover since he himself is now impotent. But he begs Steve not to take away his beloved wife. Very reluctantly, Steve gives up his first true love by letting her ""catch him"" with Ellie. Robbie is not too happy that his sister Robin is going to marry Todd Wexler, whom he thinks is a complete idiot. Robbie heads to The Seven Palms Hotel, where he tries to enlist a sexy prostitut

A Man for Half a Season

Frank's father, Michael Miller, asks him a favor: his secretary, Jeanette Hardesty, wants to find out what has happened to her husband Mel, who mysteriously disappeared some years back. With the help of the beautiful Kari, Steve learns that Mel had $100,000 debts with his bookmaker, so he had to take ""a bath"" in the Atlantic. Jeanette is relieved to know the truth but Michael is not at all sad; at last he can propose to Jeanette, whom he has secretly been in love with for over 20 years. The famous scientist Darryl Mosier has invented a substance, which eliminates all human aggressiveness. It could bring peace to the world. But Mosier is afraid of thieves and assassins and deposits some of the liquid with Total Security. Robbie accidentally spills some of the liquid, and he and George start getting very friendly. Steve is also exposed to it, and while protecting Mosier from assassins at the Seven Palms Hotel, he actually makes friends with Luis. Warren and Faye Liebling (ep. 6) contact